Einstein (my 2021 AWD Pro S) just had a (self-inflicted) stroke

I guess I wasn't able to dodge the gremlin gods forever. Sigh. Car lit-up like a Christmas tree and the 12V died soon thereafter. Thankfully this happened in my driveway but the worst part is I couldn't disengage the e-brake so had to dolly tow it 7 miles to the dealer. Tried disconnecting/reconnecting the 12V as well as providing external 12V to the battery posts. No dice. Just heard from the service tech that they can't even wake the car up. Seems like it's bricked. They have a call into the factory tech. Of course this car was running venerable 2.1 with the old 12V battery. Updates to follow...