[SunWizard]

the seat memory buttons no longer work (the massage does) and the kick open in the back doesn't work.

This is a common problem after update, and there is an easy fix for the seats you can do, from a big thread here:

https://www.vwidtalk.com/posts/211242/

Cycles the seats through each of its positions holding the button on the furthest position for 2 seconds in each of the furthest positions. This apparently sets the “basic value” for each of the positions allowing memory seats to work once again.

Front to back controls: Run seat motor all the way forward and hold button for two seconds at the furthest position. Run seat motor all the way backward and hold button for two seconds.

Up/down seat controls: Same as above

Seat back (reclining down/up): Same as above

Or the dealer can:

it's been reported to reset the feature by 're-applying basic settings and adaptation' for addressing problem.

 

[SunWizard]

it claims to have taken in 70.3 kWh (6kW charging losses?)

That is lower loss than expected. I and several others here have computed the charging loss on L2 to be 10% many times.

85.7 kWh. That seems unreasonably high given the car's specs

Yes it is, and I think you cannot compute it that way due to the buffers. I think the "Counter for kilowatt hour charge" you are using to get 70.3 is also off. A more accurate measure is to subtract the "Energy content of HV battery " before 6925 and after 75900 , which gives 68975wh added. That closely matches a 10% charging loss.

Energy content of HV battery: RWB-internal deduction,75900, Wh

The interesting thing is that if you add the 4000wh bottom buffer, it means your MEC is 79900 exactly matching what new 23s with SK batteries report. I wonder what RWB-internal deduction means?

 

[SunWizard]

1.7? Holy macaroni, what is your commute? I get 1.9 on this route with tires that apparently have the same rolling resistance as cinder blocks.

Its because the battery heater is drawing the max. 5500w the entire time while heating the battery to 70F.

 

[SunWizard]

I wonder how cold it needs to be to have the battery heat itself up while driving without manually telling it to.

That is an interesting change, mine always heats to 32F while driving or L2 charging. Does yours heat while L2 charging?

 

[SunWizard]

If the charger is 5kw and the PTC heater is 5kw then turning it on would get you net zero charging, which would be even worse than trying to charge a cold battery. I assume the car is smart enough to know not to do that but I don't know what the cutoffs are.

Mine usually runs the battery heater at 3000w and slowly tapers down with my L2 whether its charging at 3500w or 7500w. It only uses the full 5500w heater when DCFC. When I do L1 at 1200 to 1500w it draws 1000w for battery heat, making L1 a waste of power when <10F it can run battery heat all day and never reach 32F to shut off. So almost net zero charging.

I am not sure what you mean about net zero charging worse, a >32F battery is always better for protecting itself from damage once you start driving because big power 100kw gets pushed into it with regen, but worse for your power bill.