OK, real answers, finally!
Here's the issue. I spoke with a guy over at Focal America, and explained all of it. We took a look at the stock speakers and realized they're not 2-way speakers. VW is just cranking up the EQ to compensate. So of course a 2-way speaker in that spot is going to be hot as hell. I'm going to try swapping the fronts and rears to confirm it when I have a chance. He also tells me I can literally just cut the tweeter wire without affecting the operation of the other loudspeaker, which is good to know. I could always toss an l-pad in there later if i wanted a bit of treble without too much.
So for upgrading this car using focal, I would advise against using the IC VW 165s for the rear unless you are also using the 4.320 amp and adding a sub, in which case all four speakers would use the 1/2 (front) channels alone, and the sub would use the 3/4 (rear) channels. The front channel should be a lot less hot, since the stock fronts have tweeters. Be aware that you do lose fader capability with that setup, though. The other option of course is to use an amplifier with DSP functionality that can tame that stock signal, which the 4.320 does not have - it has a level adjustment but not DSP.
For me I'll either swap em or cut the tweeter wire and tape it off. I'm passing this all on to Focal America so they can update their page. Before I do -
@pro can you tell me if your rears are the same 1-way speaker we have, or were they coaxial? It might be that we have different speakers and as a result the advice from focal for the UK market is valid but isn't for the US.
@ID.Furkan can you tell me if your car has 2-way in the rear? you should be able to see it through the door if you shine a light in there, and if i recall correctly you have a pro max, so if any car will it's that one.